Wedding Stories

5 Newlywed Tips To Make The First Year Easy

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A newlywed couple is driving a convertible retro car on a country road for their honeymoon, rear view

Image: Jack Frog/Shutterstock

If you’re looking for a guide to make the first year of marriage easy then keep moving along, because that list doesn’t exist. If you want some handy tips that will make your first year of marriage easier, we’ve got you covered.

This list isn’t for you; it’s for you and for him. These are great things to think about before you even walk down the aisle, so grab him by the arm and drag him over to read this. You’ll both benefit, and you’ll both be prepared to have a great life together.

1. Don’t overspend on your wedding

This is the most important rule imaginable. Unless your parents—or his parents—are paying for the wedding outright, then you’re going to be saddled with the financial impact that a wedding has on everyone’s checking account. Entering into a marriage with too little cash or too much debt can put an unbelievable amount of strain on your relationship!

How do you avoid overspending? First, set a budget together with your fiancé, and then stick to that budget like your life depends on it. You’ll survive with one less option on the buffet, but your marriage might not if you blow everything you have on the big day.

2. Change nothing (unless you have to)

It’s not uncommon for couples to be living together prior to getting married, and if you’re a part of a relationship like this, our next biggest piece of advice is to change absolutely nothing once you’re married. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Look, you’re obviously in love, and you obviously want to spend the rest of your life with your fiancé, so why change what got you to this point in your life?

If there are things you want to change about your relationship, you’d better do it before the wedding, because it just gets harder to do that once you say “I do.” Yes, that means if he has glaring character flaws that need some work, you’d better work on them before you going through with your wedding.

3. Seriously, change nothing after your wedding

Sorry, but we really do mean you shouldn’t change anything. Whatever you imagine married life being, you’d better start creating that  life before you invite dozens of friends and family to your wedding. If this means sharing a checking account, then do this before your wedding day. If it means having less sex, then do that months before the wedding. Form the life you want to have when you’re married. If it’s right before a wedding, it will be right after a wedding.

The one exception is about having children. That’s obviously not a decision to rush.

4. Keep the intimacy alive

Keeping the intimacy alive is not the same thing as having a lot of sex. Intimacy is about warmth and closeness with your spouse. Sometimes this comes from a nice dinner, cuddling while watching a movie or whatever it was that make you guys fall in the love in the first place. If the intimacy is there emotionally, then the fulfilling sex life will follow closely behind.

5. Don’t look for fights to make life interesting

Marriage can be boring. You’ve been warned. That’s also why some people like to create small fires in their marriage that require attention. This could come from him or from you, but no matter the source, these types of issues need to be nipped in the bud quickly. It’s very easy to find small things to get upset over, but that doesn’t mean we should all go looking for those things to make life exciting. Yes, we promise, this is a very legitimate problem, and it takes special care and attention not to start fights sometimes.

Please, however, if a relationship isn’t healthy, never accept the status quo. This last tip is not to encourage women to keep quiet and to know their places. It’s about knowing the difference between real issues—abuse, threats, etc.— from manufactured issues—his shoes stink from working all day.

Sam loves having a name that's gender neutral, just to confuse everyone. You'll usually find Sam doing something Sam's not really supposed doing and causing mayhem everywhere Sam goes.